Halfway!

It's hard to believe I'm already halfway done. I can't seem to make up my mind on whether this has gone by fast or slow. And oddly enough, it hasn't seemed like such a challenge so far. It's sort of become the usual for me, and I can't speak for my family but I think that they're getting the hang of it too. It's hard to imagine going back to school, because that seems like a long time ago. I've gone in twice so far-once at the end of each week, and it's very odd to see my friends and teachers and not be able to converse with them. Meeting with my teachers to get assignments and make sure I'm caught up is pretty difficult, because it's hard to ask questions and really fill them in on my level of understanding. The schoolwork hasn't been incredibly overwhelming so far, mainly because I have to have it all done when I go to school on Thursdays or Fridays because I take tests, so I know that I won't be cramming to get everything done two days before I go back to school (which is only 13 days away!). On another note, I'm really excited because I'm learning sign language! I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos, and Googling random words so I can communicate basic things to my family. My brothers prefer to just make me mime things, but talking to my parents has become surprisingly easier. After just the first day, when we knew words like "mom," "dad," "hungry," "water," "work," "help," and "school," we could easily tell each other things like where we were going and what we needed. Before we could talk like this, it would take a long time for them to guess what I was trying to say or wait for me to write it down. So now I teach them new words every couple days, and it's slowly getting better.

I thought that by now I'd have some really interesting stories about the struggles of a mute 14 year old, but it's mainly just trouble with the outside world. Whenever I go somewhere, I have to have a friend or adult order something for me, or stand with me while I pay for something, because basic things like that take conversation that's not in the least bit memorable, but it involves conversing with someone, which I cannot do. If I'm doing anything like helping out at an audition, volunteering with my friend, or going to work with my mom-whenever I'm around new people, if someone asks me what my name is, or how I'm doing, I have to grab someone who knows me to explain. When this happens, the person inquiring usually looks confused that I couldn't tell them my name, and I think now the majority of people I interact with think I'm incredibly shy. Which is funny, because I am definitely not a shy person. But I know that in two weeks I'll be able to at least do basic things for myself, which is comforting. However, we're still not sure how much I'll be able to speak once the month is over. It will still be limited, because I can't suddenly start singing and chattering the way I did before. That would be too much immediate impact on my vocal chords. But at least I'll be able to enjoy simple conversation that's not slowed down by a marker and whiteboard.